


A funny thing is love

by SylviaGoldingSmith



Category: On the Buses
Genre: Day that Stan is leaving, In the times when being gay was still considered odd so bare with okay, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 16:40:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5878021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SylviaGoldingSmith/pseuds/SylviaGoldingSmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set on Stan's last day when he goes to the train station with Jack. There are still things that need to be said and done. :3 I hope you like it</p>
            </blockquote>





	A funny thing is love

**Author's Note:**

> In those days being gay was still thought of as odd so I'm sorry but yeah.

The cold morning wind blew as a certain bus conductor told the driver to stop in his usual manner. The train station seemed quite empty, which was pretty strange at this time of the morning. Stanley Butler got off the bus and gave a small smile. "Not the cemetery Gates this time mate," Jack Harper snickered as he put out his cigarette "We didn't actually go to the cemetery gates a lot anyway," "True," Jack picked up Stan’s suitcases and stepped off the bus. Stan tugged at Jack's sleeve. "'Ang on, what about your shift?" Jack stared at him in bewilderment. "It's like you don't know me at all! Stuff the shift, come on!" Then he nudged him with one of the suitcases. "And take this case in all!"  
Stepping onto the platform Jack turned to his friend " 'ere mate, got time for a coffee before you go?" "aw great," He cheered and then added "As long as you're payin'," Jack rolled his eyes. 

Leaving the two cases outside the cafe--it seemed unlikely that anybody would want to take the ratty old things-- they walked in and strode to the counter where a young, blonde women was serving. Upon seeing the girl, Stan looked to Jack, and was met by the usual lecherous grin that he had known for many years. Straightening his tie, Jack stepped forward and winked when he had caught her eye. "''Allo darlin', two coffees love," He crooned, in what Stan felt was a sleazy manner. However, the young woman lapped it up, as she giggled and scurried off into the back room. Jack looked to Stan, smug. He was obviously very pleased with himself. So Stan hit him in the arm.  
Stan could never see what girls saw in Jack. Stan always knew that he was not much of a looker himself, but he was certain that Jack wasn't that attractive either. He was tall and boney with teeth like the keys of a piano. His hair grew out in white whisps and his humour was crude and dirty-not that Stan minded much. Stan chuckled as he watched Jack attempt to roll a cigarette. The tobacco kept falling everywhere and his eyes and nose where scrunched up to form an expression of intense concentration. Stan gave an amused sigh. This was the man the clippies couldn't resist? The Casanova of the Luxton bus depot.  
The cigarette came apart in the bus conductor's hands and Stan laughed at the sound of a swear being hissed under his breath . Stan shook his head, reaching into his pocket for his pack of cigarettes. "Blimey mate, I don't know how girls trust you. with your hands, I wouldn't trust you with a tin of baked beans!" "Shut up" he snapped, before taking a cigarette from Stan's pack. He lit it. "Why can't you buy real ones?" Stan asked. "I can't afford to can I?! I have to roll my own- "try to you mean" he pointed to the poor excuse of a cigarette lying on the counter. Ignoring the remark, Jack just placed the pack in his pocket without comment. Stan would have retrieved them but just shook his head once more, there was no point in fussing. Jack took a long breath into his cigarette and looked to the floor in thought, "Bloody economy.” Soon after, the waitress came back with two cups of coffee and a large tea cake. "'Ere you are love! Two coffees. Oh, and the tea cake is on the house," she whispered, leaning into the counter a little, giving a wink to Jack. "Oh ta!" Then the girl giggled again and returned to her back room. Jack rolled his eyes and picked up the tray of coffee. Stan chuckled and nudged Jack's arm. "'Ere mate, you're on to something there," Stan said nodding his head in the direction of the lady that had made her exit. Jack just shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "What can I say? I'm just that good." He bragged in what was supposed to sound like an amused tone but ended up sounding rather dry. What was up with Jack today? He seemed much more cranky then usual. The two sat down at a round table by the window.  
"I tell you what though..." He said in thought as he sat down and stirred the coffee"...with you gone I might finally be able to get the buses out on time," He looked accusingly at Stan. Stan was about to defend himself but was stopped for speaking. "And then maybe Old Dracula will stop giving me such a hard time. I'll get on his good books and then I'll have some lovely overtime!" Jack rubbed his hands in delight at the prospect of earning more money.  
"Blimey, Trust you to become miss goodie two shoes!" Stan cried, hurt by the realisation that his best mate was a heartless dipstick. Jack could see this and tried to explain himself."Look I'm just trying to get more pay! I'm not gonna turn into his parrot!" Stan snickered"Vulture more like," Jack glared in distaste. There was an elongated pause in the conversation, then Stan looked up from his coffee "so...you won't miss me at all then?" He asked innocently as he stirred his drink. smoke exited Jack’s mouth as he exhaled slowly, peering at Stan from the corner of his eye, questioning this innocence. "Well, at least with you gone, I can't get into any more trouble." Then he just shrugged his shoulders giving of an air of indifference and aloofness.  
Stan gave an annoyed sigh. "Thanks mate," he said, sulking for a second. This made Jack raise an eyebrow but he stayed aloof. "Nah but I will miss you mate" he stated matter o factly. Stan sneered "Come off it, I bet that you'll be chatting up that bit within' five seconds of me being gone!" He pointed to the waitress. Jack smiled but for some reason would not meet Stan's eye.  
Stan sipped his coffee and thought back to when he first met Jack. He had been a nice enough bloke. A bit awkward, but approachable. At first Jack used to follow Stan around and make the occasional joke. However, it wasn’t until Blakey-old Dracula-became an inspector that they became best mates. Jack was great. He got him birds, helped him through his darkest and mostly embarrassing moments and kept him from getting fired since the day they first met. Even though there were times when Jack was rotten, Stan would always be grateful for the things he had done. And even though he knew that he wasn't Jack's only friend and that it was selfish, he hated the thought that Jack would be just as happy working with another bus driver.  
"'Ere mate, are you alright?" Jack nudged Stan. Judging by his friend's concerned expression, Stan must of been looking sad. Which was unusual for Stan as he was usually quite chipper. He didn't know the scarecrow cared. "Yeah I'm alright. 'Ere are you going to eat that?" He picked up the plate with the tea cake on it. "Nah you 'ave it." Jack dismissed it with his hand. "Cheers! I'm starvin," he mummbled as he chewed on the cake. They sat their for a good few minutes. It wasn't until now that Stan had realised how silent the cafe was. It was starting to choke him. How he wished Jack would talk like he usually would. Why was he so moody? Then he laughed as he remembered something his mother had said earlier. " 'Ere listen, you'll never guess what my old mum reckons?" He laughed in a desperate attempt to start a conversation. Jack raised his eyebrows in a questioning manner and inhaled his cigarette. Though still refusing to say a bloody word. Blimey, never had Stan felt such an urge to grab that cigarette for his big mouth and throw it on the ground. "She only reckons that I'm going to run away with you!" He laughed at how ridiculous his mum could be. Jack smiled but then stared at the ground. Stan sighed in annoyance. He was getting sick and tired of this game. He pulled Jack's cigarette out and stamped on it. "listen mate, I've had enough of this. What's up with ya?" He shouted before poking him hard. Jack looked shocked by this sudden outburst. "Nothin' I'm just as alright as I was the day before!" He replied as he rubbed the arm that had been poked. "Why are you acting like there's a stick up your backside then?" Jack glared at him. Then sighed deeply, letting his head fall into his hands. "I've...just had a lot on my mind..." He looked down at the table and started toying with the salt shaker. Stan had never seen his friend look so sad before. "Well, aren't you going to tell me then?" Jack looked at him, then shook his head. "It's not important mate....really" He turned to face the window. It seemed to Stan that Jack was watching two rather lovely young girls who were waiting on the platform. He seemed to be trying to work something out in his head, his eyebrows were coming together and made his face look all crinkly. He was probably deciding which one to chat up first.  
"'Ere mate?" Jack called as he turned to face Stan again. "Mm?" Stan moaned in response. As he looked at Jack, his face was very serious. He seemed hesitant to say anything, so for a second he just looked at Stan, a bit like a scientist observing a rat. " you know how your old' lady always thinks you're going funny?" Stan rolled his eyes. "Yeah..." He stated in a tired manner. Stan hated when people called him funny. He hated it even more when people thought he and Jack were together. They weren't that way! They were just best mates. Stan tutted in annoyance. Jack pierced his lips and then looked Stan in the eye. "Are you funny?" Stan was shocked. "Blimey, not you inall?!" He exclaimed as he could feel himself getting hot at the question. "You know I'm not! I'm sick of being called funny!" He cried, looking thoroughly distressed by this situation. Jack rolled his eyes and nudged Stan's shoulder "Calm down! I was only asking!" "Well don't !" Stan shouted and immediately regretted it as he felt eyes staring at them. Jack hushed him. "Anyway people think I'm funny too you know," Jack stated, looking indifferent. "Why do you think I hardly get any luck with the clippies anymore? They all think I'm with you!" Again, Jack looked to Stan in a accusing manner. But this time, the words hit hard into Stan and he felt offended. "Yeah, blame me for that!" He hissed sarcastically. Obviously Jack would never of stopped to think that maybe it was because he was a lecherous twit. Jack rolled his eyes and told him to stop getting fussy, but Stan just turned in his chair and ate his tea cake. People always thought Stan was funny. And it got on his nerves. There wasn't a day that went by where a person wouldn't make a joke about it. It stopped bothering him after his third year on the buses. However, it was when people started making accusations about Jack and himself that he would get angry. At first Jack would laugh about it too. After all, if you can't beat a crowd, make yourself seem like the funny bloke. But, as the years went by, and the rumours kept spreading. It just got tedious. Stan had noticed how Jack had stopped joking with him. He became all serious, cranky and sex obsessed--Which he guessed would happen if no girl wants you anymore. And even when he told Jack he was going to the North, Jack didn't seem that bothered at all. After all they'd been through. It was unbelievable. 

Stan had been so in thought, that he didn't notice that Jack had been staring intently at him for a while. Then there was a cough, and Stan was brought out of his thoughts to face a very strange expression on his mate's face. It seemed too friendly, and with Jack's teeth shining in the light, It was felt very disturbing. He pretended not to be bothered though. "'ere mate you've got cream on your face." Jack said in a low, lazy tone, his head resting in his hand. Stan grinned awkwardly. "I was saving it for later." He mumbled, his mouth suddenly felt paralysed and he felt Shyness creeping up on him for the first time in his life. Stan took his handkerchief out of his pocket and with Jack verbally directing him to the said spot, he tried to wipe it. After two failed attempts, Jack tutted at him. "Blimey, can't you do anything right?!" He exclaimed as he snatched the handkerchief from Stan. "Come 'ere" Jack beckoned Stan to move forward. He clearly did not see anything strange in a grown man wiping another grown man's face. To Stan this all happened far too quickly and the touch of Jack's hand on his cold cheeks felt like they were burning him. Jack used one hand to support Stan's face and one to wipe. The entire thing felt far too...what even was it? It was strange. Stan could feel something churning in his stomach and he hoped that the warm feeling in his cheeks didn't show. Obviously he was not lucky enough as Jack froze, his hands still on Stan face as if they were glued on. Jack's eyes grew wide and his eyebrows rose. Stan felt so embarrassed. The whole thing was completely awkward. They both felt several pair of eyes on them. The hushed whispers brought Jack to his senses as he slowly removed his hand from Stan's red face. He coughed as he did so. Stan tried drinking his coffee naturally to cover it all up, but his hand kept shaking the higher he rose it. Jack was still looking at Stan in disbelief and then whispered something barely audible. "I think we should go wait outside," He was still not looking away from Stan. "Right " was all Stan could mutter in reply, not daring to even glance at Jack. His stare was killing him inside. Awkwardly they both got up and walked slowly to the door, taking note not to look at the judging waitress who had seen the whole thing.

Outside the cafe, the two men shivered awkwardly on the platform as they waited for the train. The icy wind tore through both of them. The silence was deafening, Stan could feel Jack simmering next to him. Suddenly, Jack turned his face to him and burst. "See, this is what I'm talking about! It's things like that! That's the reason people think we're like that," He flicked his wrist as a visual aide. He was extremly irritated.  
"Well you didn't have to help me you know?! I would of been able to manage on my own!" Stan spat back, equally irritated but also ashamed of himself. Jack was right, it was things like that that gave people the wrong idea, Stan sometimes times felt like he was such a burden to Jack. He hated it. "Anyway it's all right because I'll be gone soon and then maybe you can finally be happy with your new bus driver!" He snapped bitterly. Jack eyes widened in anger, his face went silently mad, he was speechless. "How could you say that?! After all we've been through! All the embarrassing things I've helped you with! How could ever have a doubt in your mind that I wouldn't miss you? Do you really think that low of me? " Jack's pale face was turning red in anger and he was holding his new cigarette too tight as it began to turn into mush. Though it was pretty evident that Stan had crossed a line, somehow he still felt like defending himself. "What about all them birds you took from me?" Jack rolled his eyes at him. "You never forget that do you?!It's not easy being called funny all the time! Sometimes I have to do it, don't I?" Jack held the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "Rubbish, you like it! Don't give me that sob story!" He spat poking Jack in the chest accusingly. Jack recoiled childishly at the touch "You're just being jealous now. It's really not my fault you never get the chance to have it off with someone! But believe me, I have helped you the best that I ever could! I've tried mate! Really I have! So don't you tell me that means nothing because that's all I've got." If Stan didn't know Jack, he would of sworn he was about to cry. But he did know Jack, so he was just being a drama queen. Still Stan had to admit that he was being really selfish. It was true, Jack was always there, in his own way, when it counted. It had to come to something. And it did, in the end. However, he couldn't help but feel a great deal of conflicted emotion, since he had basically been told that he was a "no hope" with women. Stan decided to be the bigger man and patted Jack's shoulder, he sighed. "Listen mate I'm sorry...I just get bitter sometimes because it feels like you're treating me like I'm just An ordinary person." Stan felt a little bit silly expressing himself in this manner, but it had to be done. As he spoke,his exhaling turned into sighs of relief as he realized how true his words were. Jack pouted slightly but then shrugged his shoulders. "It's alright mate...I have been treating you badly lately...I've just had a lot on my mind." Stan nodded in understanding. Soon after, the two resumed to holding their hands in their pockets and standing awkwardly. Stan cautiously looked at Jack through the corner of his eye. He was pouting again. Stan didn't bring it to mind before but the last time he did that, Stan had felt something that he couldn't quite figure out. Was it fondness? Affection? He immediately put these thoughts aside as they were far to obscure to him, especially since he was thinking about a man. Still, Stan couldn't exactly hide the fact that his cheeks were starting to get quite warm again. And in the winter air it felt so obvious. Then he shook his head and sneered at the ludicrousness of it all "This is turning into an episode of Coronation street" He didn't know what it was. Perhaps the awkwardness of the entire situation, but he felt a sudden urge to laugh and evidently so did Jack as they both went into a fit. And as his friend put a hand over his shoulder, he felt his cheeks get even warmer. Stan was glad to have this moment to assure that they wouldn’t be parting on bad terms.  
As the laughter died down, there was a second elongated pause. Stan looked to Jack who was now staring into space wide eyed. "'Ere, I'm never going to see you again am I?" Jack whispered. Stan rolled his eyes. It took him this long to realise? "Yeah probably not" Stan gave Jack a small smile, but Jack just looked at him, thinking again.  
Suddenly there was a tannoy announcement: *The train arriving at platform 1 will arrive in 5 minutes* Stan sighed sadly as he turned to Jack. For the first time in a long while, Stan felt his brave, fighter’s heart plummet to the pits of his being along with his spirit. What was he doing? Yet, he forced himself a smile and a stiff upper lip to match. "Well, looks like it's time to say goodbye.” Stan said light-heartedly, his voice a little lacking of both sincerity and stength. Just then Jack grabbed hold of Stan's arm and started dragging him along. Surprised, Stan resisted "'Ere, what's your game?" He protested. Jack sighed in annoyance "Look trust me, now come on! We haven't got all day!" He insisted as he walked with a flustered Stan by his side.  
When Jack had finally come to a stop, they were in the Gents' toilets. Stan looked around confused. "Alright mate, now what are we doing here for?" Jack didn't answer. He seemed to glance up above, mutter something under his breath, then once again he looked to Stan and tried to work something out. Then hesitantly, Jack took his cigarette from his mouth, bent down, and kissed him. Stan went into such shock that he inhaled too hard, and erupted into a major coughing fit. Jack tutted at him, amused. "Blimey, talk about romance," he muttered calmly. Stan told him to shut up. "What was that for?" Stan asked, clutching at his chest like he had just been robbed of something. This amused Jack even more. He just shrugged his shoulders. "Something to do init?" He chuckled. "I thought you liked birds!" "Oh I do! You see I like girls, they're nice, and soft," Jack smiled crudely like the lecherous twit he was. "But I've come to the conclusion that you're not that bad either really," He put his arm around Stan's shoulder. "So I thought I'd tell you how I thought of you now since I won't see you often." He laughed. Stan could not understood Jack sometimes. A while ago, Jack used to laugh at him and call him things like "darling"and "dear". Even if it was meant in the most friendly, it wasn't really appreciated. There was even a time-though Jack would probably not remember- when he had pecked Stan on the cheek while making one of his jokes. It was short and Stan had acted annoyed at the time, but there where times when he would think back to that moment, to the memory of Jack acting all effeminate before kissing him on his cheek and he would wonder why it was that it didn't sicken him as much as he thought it should. And it didn't really distress him this time either.  
"I thought you said I was ugly?" Stan asked curiously. "Well, I'm sure I'll get used to it," Jack smiled as Stan lightly hit him in the ribs. Then Stan suddenly thought it would be awkward if he didn't kiss him back. Afterall it was certainly appreciated, if not just extremly confusing. But, deciding to put the reality aside for just a minute and seeing no better time like the present, he reached up and met his lips once again. Soon it turned into a deeper kiss, it seemed so foreign, but so refreshing, so wanted. Stan had never done this sort of thing with a man before, but as Jack clearly wasn't objecting, with his arms around his neck and his fingers through this hair-which felt less like straw than he had imagined--Stan was sure he would get the hang of it. It was a minute that felt like eternity, as he was plunged into a world that tasted like cigerattes and smelt of cheap aftershave. Suddenly they were interrupted by another tannoy announcement:*The train on platform 1 has arrived.* Stan looked at Jack, he seemed pretty flustered-his breathing was heavy, his hair in complete disarray--and slightly annoyed by the interruption. Reluctantly Stan pulled away. "I have to go now," Stan whispered, barely making a sound. he turned to leave. Why didn't he do this sooner? Just as Stan was about to step out of the gents', he felt an arm pulling him back. "'Ere, Do you have to go now?" Jack asked hopefully. "You know I do mate. I've got to be at work by tomorrow morning," Stan explained. Jack squinted and then smiled mischievously "But that means you still have tonight...can't you stay here tonight?" He suggested slyly. Stan looked unsure. "Of course I can't, mum's probably already sold my room to a lodger. Where am I going to sleep?" He asked hopelessly.  
"Well, you could always come to my place..." he suggested innocently. He gave a cheeky grin. Stan raised an eyebrow as he realised what he was suggesting. He beamed, "you dirty devil!" Jack wrapped an arm around him, “I always was," They both laughed. Exiting the gents' toilets, they saw the train leaving the platform. There was no turning back now, Stan though to himself. " Hey, how are we going to get your place?" He asked as he picked up the suitcases. Jack just smiled at him. "We'll take the bus,"


End file.
